Georgia

Crossing the Border

The Georgian immigration lady literally put a diamond loupe on my driver's license and passport and went over every square millimeter trying to decide if they were frauds or not. Once satisfied she demanded that I buy insurance. “I already have”. I showed her the contract on my phone that I had bought the day before. She stared at the phone and then transferred her deadeye look to me. Realizing she had no screws to turn, she took a very long pause and after a sad inhale announced; “your paperwork is in order” It felt very Soviet.

Kobuleti

Driving in Batumi was stressful and our first camping spot didn’t work out. We aborted the plan (this would become a recurring event) and headed to a campsite just north of Kobuleti on the beach. Every License plate in the campground had “RUS” on it. That’s the first time I’d ever seen a Russian Plate. We immediately befriended a Russian family who used the word “escape” in reference to their exodus from Russia multiple times. Tatiana, Adgin, Ivan and Igor - I introduced myself as Bob. They loved that. The 13-year-old kid said “you look so American!”, I guess we were all living up to our stereotypes. The father would later explain to us that after 2 years out of Mother Russia that going back for him meant “War or prison. Can’t go back until Putin is dead.”

My new friend helps me seal a window

Our drink of choice

They do have a nice boardwalk and coastline

A Little History

We found a great restaurant and never ate at another for our whole stay in Kobuleti. Delicious and inexpensive. I learned a lot from the Russian owner who had also fled his homeland a couple years before. This war has affected everyone. Did you know that before Putin invaded Ukraine in 2014 and again in 2022, he invaded Georgia? In 2008 he launched a war against this country and is currently occupying 20%. 

 Do you see the shaded areas? That’s Russian occupied and came with the deaths of about 850 people, 2000 wounded and 100,000 displaced. The guy who passed out maps at the tourist office told me to be very careful when driving close to the occupied zones that I don’t take a wrong turn or else the Russian soldiers would kidnap me. I asked what would happen. His pensive heavily lidded gaze was broken only when he mumbled “Mild torture and ransom”

Aleja made this video as we were driving by it at our closest point

When we drove the E-60 to Tbilisi we were under a kilometer from the Russian line. 

You can be sure I was wideawake and driving my best.

The Roads Of Georgia

Cows in the street, dogs in the street, & people in the street. All living things seem to congregate in the streets of Georgia. Dogs and cows – ok, they are sleepy animals who have never read Newton, but the humans of Georgia… very odd. There doesn’t seem to be any understanding of the laws of physics. They don't close their doors and they stand there blocking traffic without flinching. The Soviets were first in putting a man into space – they obviously know the mechanics of motion. What is this cultural anomaly? 

They’ve Taken The Crown

I drove the entire length of Peru and it’s not a small country. The Peruvians held the crown for the world’s worst drivers until I went to Albania. What the Peruvians had going for them was absolute abject poverty and the audacity to “go for it” on a blind mountain curve with a jalopy running on a weed wacker engine. The Albanians had the horse power to make stupid decisions - since they were all driving stolen Mercedes from Europe – and they did, every chance they could. They won on simple incompetence of not having enough experience with combustion engines since they had only recently moved from horse and buggy.  What won first place for the Georgians was something new. It was a combination of Slavic machismo, poverty, drunkenness, and hardened malice. They drive with a mean streak. They will make you pay for their small desperate lives. You will feel their frustration and fear (no one has insurance). They will visit it upon you through the medium of transport. You will learn. They will teach you. 

Driving psychosis will eventually affect a whole country. It just becomes the culture. 

When you learn cruel driving techniques from your defeated dad and his vinegary brothers the problem stands little chance of being eradicated before it falls upon your children. Your friends drive like you do and that’s that. It is what it is and it’s accepted. It won’t get better unless it's actively controlled and these people are making no attempt. 

What Did You Expect?

I’m a man who lives in a vehicle and my world is centered around driving. Why would you be surprised that I spent 400 words on transport?

Kutaisi

We found a great restaurant. I’m beginning to think that’s the best thing one can say about this country.

Then we found a bar. There are 2 things you should know about me: 1) I'm losing my hair. 2) Almost no one can do more pushups than me. I love winning bets off body builders

Tbilisi

We drove all the way there. Pouring rain and multiple near misses. When the spot we had been promised turned out to be fraud (someone’s tiny backyard instead of a campground) we aborted the plan and drove back to where we woke up in some farmers field. 5 hours of danger driving and I was emotionally spent and in the same place. 

This was indicative of the approach to most of our campsites

What’s With All The Smoking?

Is there a corollary between desperation and smoking rates? Everybody in Georgia smokes, which means they’re continually sick, and when you are continually sick you stay poor, which means you stay sick. It’s really easy to break the cycle – quit smoking. That’s about as likely as driving with a smile. 

This kid was 9, and a very accomplished smoker.
Now he's dead and this is the photo his loved ones chose for his tombstone

The Language & Alphabet

Sure they have their own language, that's not unique, but they have their own alphabet. And are you ready for this.....Here's what it looks like:

And this is Laotian.....

What the hell is going on ?

Georgia - The Country

I didn’t hate Georgia. I obviously didn’t love it either. I rate it a very low C, and that’s me being very generous. There aren’t any marquee attractions and the infrastructure isn’t quite ready for prime time. When the board of tourism lists picnics and bird watching as high value events it’s not an easy country to market. If you have a 4-wheel drive death proof Unimog and love getting out in the green mountains then this might be your calling but I’m older now and my moxy is on the downswing. I want a bit more comfort and safety than I did 20 years ago. 

Georgia for us, was just a dining destination and a chance to rub elbows with Russians. I will say that their data plan was the best we’ve ever found. It was super cheap for unlimited gigabytes. I suppose if you are a digital nomad who loves dumplings this is the place for you. The Georgian food is wonderful and the people were nice enough. I’ll focus on that during my reminisces. Would I go back? Not a chance. Not worth the miles when Turkey is so good. 

Your man on point,

Blacktop Bobby

Great looking castle in Gori. Stalin's home town

Greece

When you drive around Europe, you begin to see a pattern: Hard scrabble peasants colonized by the civilized Romans. From England to Spain, From France to Romania – The Romans are usually the oldest civilization represented in the archeological record. 

Then One Arrives In Greece

Even with all the significant contributions the Romans brought to Western Civilization (and there were many) let’s remember it was the Greeks who literally created Western Civilization and deserve the praise for the majority of what we unwittingly credit to the Romans.

It's fitting that we drove the entire length of Italy before arriving in Greece. We were going back in time as we headed south. 

This was the cover of one of my art history books when I was at university. I finally saw it in person

Historical Synopsis

The history of Greece is an incredibly long one. For the sake of brevity, I’m going to only mention that the Minoan culture, which goes back 5000 years to 3000 BC, is usually cited as the first civilization in Europe. The Minoans strongly influenced the Mycenaeans who were the dominate culture from 1750 BC to 1050 BC. With the Bronze age collapse the next phase of Greek history crawls meekly onto the stage and is known as the Greek Dark Ages. Palaces ceased to be built, pottery went back to dismal, and the Greek language dwindled as illiteracy became the norm. This lasted until about 800 BC. After this date things brightened; The first Olympics were held in 776 BC, the people reembraced literacy and Homer wrote the Iliad and the Odyssey around this time. The smelting of Iron changed the course of history and a rebirth occurred. This led to the Greek Classical Period which begins in the early 6th century BC. Democracy was introduced and established in 507 BC, The Persians were pushed back in 479 BC, and the Athenians came to the height of their power around 450 BC. 

“The free participation of citizens in the handling of their communal affairs fostered a sense of personal responsibility.” – A plaque at the Athens Museum

This was the first time democracy had ever been tested. Let’s slowly read that sentence again for substance: “The free participation of citizens in the handling of their communal affairs fostered a sense of personal responsibility.” I find that compelling. Said differently - Democracy begat personal responsibility in a social context. That in itself, gave rise to a new way of thinking. Prior to this, all religion and dogma were focused on man’s relation to the Gods. Man was obsessed with trying to figure out where we came from and where we're going after death. But with new vigor, these maverick philosophers in the Athenian Agora spoke not of ancient mythologies of how the world began and how it will end but instead of “how man should behave during his time on earth”. The focus became human virtues and what is expected of a man. That’s truly transformative.

A round of applause for the Classical Greeks!!! They were essentially the first sociologists & anthropologists. More importantly – they were indeed the architects of Western Civilization.

The Antikythera Mechanism. Maybe the worlds first analog computer. I finally saw it in the Athens Museum

Enough Of The Lofty Stuff - Let’s Get Down In The Dirt

First impressions of Greece: The alphabet is unfathomable and the coffee is undrinkable. 

When your waitress says, "you can really taste the coffee." What she means is, "you're going to eat the mud." It's unfiltered Bali coffee but they've somehow figured out how to make the grind float on the surface. So instead of the evil lurking at the bottom of the cup waiting to ruin your morning, this sludge forces you to chew your way through it first to even get to liquid. No more going out for breakfast.

As for the alphabet – I was a frat boy for a bit and I still can’t decipher what I’m looking at. Might as well be Chinese. I guess the saying, “It’s all Greek to me”, now makes sense. 

The other first impression with Greece is this: Cats. So many cats. So many big healthy cats.

Making Friends With Your Waitress

We always try to learn the word for delicious so that we can pass on a compliment. If you compliment their food, you compliment their culture. In Greek the word is "nostimo" which is pretty easy to say. But there's another one that they seem to use even more. It's “poryorio”. Something like that. I mispronounce it, but I’m close. Close enough that when I mumble it, they can correct me. They know what word I’m butchering. “pogliolio" It's so cute. I giggle like a school girl every time they say it. (It’s actually  “πολύ ωραία”  or  “polyoraia)

The Food

It’s easy to eat healthy in Greece with the simple yet delicious table starters of Dolmades & Greek salad. Then there are the death defying cheeses (fried w honey & a spicy dip to kill for) and gyros.  Moussaka and their wines reversed any good we may have accomplished, and it was well worth it. 

The Ruins

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while then you know I’m rather fixated on ancient archeological ruins. It’s the intersection of historical storytelling and tangible evidence. I can’t get enough of walking the streets of antiquity and Greece obviously did not disappoint

For 2000 years this statue was hidden in a storeroom that had been sealed off and buried during war. It was only recently found. Can you imagine finding treasures like this? We parked about 2 blocks from the secret spot

Athens

We parked in the port of Pireaus. It was the wreckage of an old building that was now an open-air parking lot. We took the metro in every day for the beautiful sites. The agora wet our whistle and cocktails at a roof top bar where we could eyeball the next day’s Acropolis visit kept us salivating through multiple rounds. Praise be to Dionysus - those were delicious drinks. The sunset immersed that monumental landmark in a stunning hue. We slept well.

This is the Temple of Hephaestus. It's one of the best preserved and largely intact structures from the 5th century BC 

The backside. Pretty good shape huh? The building ain't bad either. This is just below the Acropolis

The Athenian Agora with The Temple of Hephaestus in the background

This is the Stoa that the Stoic philosophers get there name from. It was a gathering area where people discussed important topics. This is not a place like, but the actual spot where Zeno, Socrates and Seneca ushered in a new logic

The Acropolis

Artifacts have been found dating back to 6000 BC and there is little doubt that the Mycenaeans built a palace here around 1300 BC, although almost nothing remains. The 7th and 6th centuries BC saw other temples erected, (All later destroyed by the Persians) but what you see on the Acropolis today is all thanks to Pericles (447-406 BC). 

The Parthenon from the backside. I can't stand the scaffolding that has been in place since I was here 33 years ago

Taken from the Acropolis looking out to the sea

Delphi

Then there’s Delphi…

The location is phenomenal. They built and rebuilt and built some more on the side of a hill that transitions into a lofty mountain. Commanding views of beautiful rolling hills spill out beneath, all the way to the far away sea. It’s 1600 feet off the valley floor and the ancient road to get here was a challenge to say the least.

Most of what you see walking the grounds today comes from the 6th century BC

From at least as early as the 8th century BC (we know for certain from Homer’s Iliad but probably from Mycenaean times of 1600 BC) The Oracle (a series of peasant women from the village) would sit on a tripod chair over a crack in the earth that emitted hydrocarbon vapors. She got loopy and “raved while in a trance”. The priests would translate the prophecy. This went on up until the 7th century AD when it fell out of Christian favor. 

Polygonal dry ashlar building technique without mortar. If you look closely you can see minute inscriptions announcing events

The influence that these oracles had over the ancient world spanned 2,300 years. Socrates, Alexander the Great, Roman emperor Hadrian (even Lord Byron visited in 1809 and carved his name on a column) … They came from all over the known world.  This was the place to be if you wanted to gauge your future in war & politics, as well as everything else. The Oracle of Delphi was the predecessor to tarot card grifters, and the ancient world was as transfixed as we are now.

James and Louise

We met these 2 in Ksamil Albania last year and hit it off right away. It’s nice when nomads cross paths for a second time. We drank too much, we sang too loud, and bonds were forged. After a couple nights we gypsies repacked our caravans and the New Worlders pushed east while the Brits moved west. It was a nice reunion on an Aegean beach beneath the shadow of Mount Olympus. We’ll see them again in Scotland at the end of this year. 

3 Weeks Is Not Enough

We needed to start our 3 months in Turkey sooner rather than later so that we can get north before the real heat of summer cooks us again like last year in Italy. We broke the border on April 1 2024 and entered an incredible country …. but you’ll have to wait for that chapter.

Your man on point,

Blacktop Bobby